Bills, Bills, Bills ... What A Joy

Hey everyone,

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Day. Of course mine was different, you know, the “first” Thanksgiving without Emm.  My family was amazing though. We were all together and that meant a lot. Did I mention it was my birthday also? I was born on Thanksgiving Day back in 1959.  So that makes me 35 years old?  Yes that sounds about right!  You figure it out…Either way I’m FIERCE!!!

 

Today is not one of my brighter days; I feel a lot of pain at the moment. It’s weird because I just don’t know when it is going to hit. I can say this though, it always passes.  Thank God!

Well, let me just jump in where I left off last time. My dear, sweet husband was always so very giving.  He took me everywhere, showered me with presents; he was just amazing in that way.  BUT…yes there is a but! But, it was at the expense of not paying our household bills!  Now me, I was the one that paid my bills before the DUE DATE, he was one that said, “I will pay them at some point”. And he did; he’d make really big payments and catch up. (I think about it now and it brings a smile to my face) Then he’d start that same process again, paying at some point.  (As I wrote at the end of my last blog) REALLY???  I thought I’d have a cow.  This was in the beginning of our marriage when he had his bills and I had mine.  You might want to know how then did I find out about his bills.  Easy enough, I opened ALL the mail. He had no problem with that, he was just “EASY” (singing), “ EASY like Sunday morning”. Anyway, I’d see late payment fees; I’d see cable and phone shut off notices. I saw those bills and yes I immediately went into labor, I was about to have that cow! Did I mention that Emm was an accountant/financial analyst? You gotta love him, well I did!  He just didn’t want to deal with numbers when he got home, so I called for a meeting. We had our meeting of the minds. We decided that we’d put all our bills TOGETHER and put our money TOGETHER. Everyone (meaning, him and I) came from the meeting very satisfied. He didn't have to deal with due dates and writing checks and I didn’t have to worry about anything being shut off.  Folks recognize that one of the biggest areas that can break up a marriage is MONEY.  What worked for us might not work for you but make sure you discuss it and come to a decision that you both can live with.

Even though I was the one that physically wrote out the checks, Emm knew what was in the account, what bills were coming in, what was being paid out. When there were challenges in the finances, without question he’d figure it out. Is there ever a perfect plan? NO, but we started with A PLAN.  I would always tell him how much I loved him for trusting me totally with the money and I didn’t let him down. (Ok, now I’m tearing up) I also recognized that he was the head of the household and I being in charge of the finances took nothing away from him as a man.  I respected him highly. 

One of my goals in doing this blog is to remind wives and husbands how important it is to know what is going on in your own household, FINANCIALLY. Remember it should not be a “ yours vs. mine” relationship. It should be an “our” relationship. You are building a life together. It is never too late to make positive change in your relationship. My father made a statement once that was so true. He said, “It’s ok not to know, but it’s not ok not to learn!” So learn and build and grow together!

I’m not an expert; I don’t have degrees in marriage counseling, none of the above. I am just a woman that has just decided to invite you into my world, my most precious memories, hoping that my experience can be of some help to you. My own experience coupled with other folks experiences has brought me to that place of W.O.W.W. 

I really pray that I’m helping someone along the way. God bless you and be well. Until next time…